The Courage to Live Whole-Heartedly

We are living in unprecedented times facing real risks and uncertainty.

 I feel like I just made the understatement of the century. 

A truer statement is that this year has pushed many of us to uncomfortable limits. To face these challenges we need tools to help us cope with the extraordinary amount of stress. The problem is most of the tools we have are out of date, and we need new ones. 

There are thinkers out there proposing groundbreaking, new ways to tackle these issues.

A favorite of mine is author and shame researcher, Brene Brown, who has a few thoughts. As a champion of ‘wholehearted living’, she believes we must learn to buck existing norms. Wholehearted living is “living and loving with our whole hearts despite the risks and uncertainty.” Brown believes we start living wholeheartedly by learning how to stop feeling shame and by learning to be vulnerable.  

That’s a pretty big ask.

So, how do we start? 

Brown says, “It takes courage to open ourselves up to joy.”

What is the relationship between courage and joy?

Brown believes, “Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”  

I really didn’t know what Brown meant until I met my friend, Sarah. 

The first time I met her, she walked into the knit shop with a bit of a limp. Our teacher asked us to slide down a chair as “Sarah sits best at the end of the table, as it gives her more flexibility to maneuver.” I nervously asked if she wanted me to move my knitting bag situated on the floor between her seat and mine. Smiling, she looked down, and gestured toward the place where her left leg would have been, and chuckled, “Why bother?  There’s nothing there to get in the way.”  

That’s when I noticed that Sarah balanced all of her body’s weight on a single leg. 

I felt embarrassed at my lack of awareness, but Sarah gave me a look that said “Seriously. Don’t even go there” and then let out a deep belly laugh. Before I knew it, I was laughing too. Sarah’s joy was contagious. She could metaphorically run circles around any great Buddhist teacher with her contagious joy. 

Whenever I think of this story it reminds me of Brown’s guideposts for wholehearted living. In my mind, Sarah embodies these guideposts, especially her ability to cultivate a resilient spirit, self-compassion, gratitude, and joy. 

It’s hard right now to experience joy in our everyday life when we live in a pandemic world of constant change and uncertainty.

But for me, I find it is possible for me to experience more joy when I have the courage to live wholeheartedly. As I live each day, I want to find that joyous state Brown talks about and Sarah exhibits. I know that I won’t be perfect. I will fumble around and get it wrong sometimes. But I believe an imperfect quest for joy is the way to a joyous state of being.  

If you want to find out more about these guideposts and wholehearted living you can go to brenebrown.com.