Why just saying no is hard with ADHD
It’s hard to believe the expression “just say no” has been around for a while. And yet it still means something, especially in my work with helping students make school more manageable.
Many students struggle to prioritize their schoolwork and say no to distractions. Today there are so many distractions: direct messages, YouTube, TikTok, video games, and binge watching — just to name a few.
In the world of executive functioning, the ability to say no is called response inhibition. And like all executive functioning skills, these are life skills that can be learned. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to add them to your tool belt — you just need to practice them to form the habit.
Response inhibition is the capacity to think before you act. It’s the ability to resist the urge to say or do something, allowing you the time to evaluate a situation and how your behavior might impact it.
A young child can learn to wait for a short period without being disruptive. An adolescent can learn to accept a referee’s call without an argument. And a student can learn to get work done before going on social media or going out with a friend. They can learn to say no to the things they want to in order to do the things they have to do first.
Sounds great, right? Unfortunately, developing the habit to say no is your student’s work to do and you can’t actually control their behavior. But your student can learn to apply some evidence-based strategies to help them take charge of their own behavior and learn how to interact with their environment in a more positive way.
As an executive functioning coach, here’s what I teach students:
Create a list of things you HAVE to do. Do them before the fun things.
Reward yourself when you get your work done first. Rewards help you build new habits.
Avoid distractions — phone, noise, whatever distracts you. Turn off notifications, leave your phone in another room, and find a quiet place.
Think before you act. We develop this skill by slowing the body down so it can pause.
I hope this helps in better understanding response inhibition. Response inhibition is just one of several executive functioning skills. To learn more read my other articles in the series.
I help individuals learn how their brain works, identify executive functioning challenges, and build long-terms systems to help them get work done. To learn more, schedule a consultation here.